据说这是最难说出口的英语单词，虽然每个人都认识

学会说NO

人人都希望在别人面前展现出自己和善或者好人的一面。往往碍于人情面子或者各种各样的“关系”，我们经常违心地说出“YES”.可是所有的成功者都告诉说，不会拒绝的人，是很难进步的。因为懂得拒绝才会懂得“选择”。如果说了“不”，是不是就会做 “恶人”了？其实并没有，来看看下个视频

当然第一次拒绝总是“难以启齿”，而怎样说“NO”才能达到目的又不伤人呢？小编这次给大家介绍“说NO的三大好处”，以及5个常见的场景，如何“聪明地”拒绝。

Saying No for the Sake of Your Wallet

说 ”不“有益钱包

案例 1

A friend in need asks for a Trump-worthy loan.

一个不靠谱的朋友问你借钱

〓 你该怎么说NO 〓

“I wish I could, but as a rule, I don’t lend money to friends.”

我想借给你，但是这是原则问题，我不借钱给朋友

〓 为什么要这样说 〓

It’s clear that you are not singling out this person as untrustworthy.

这样说表明你拒绝的原因并非是因为对他个人的不信任。

〓 为何无需自责 〓

Lending any amount of money can cause problems, says communications trainer Don Gabor. “It can change the nature of your relationship if the person doesn’t pay you back.”

无论借多少钱都是一种麻烦，人际沟通导师Don Gabor说过：“如果有借无还，谈钱伤感情（你们的关系性质就会改变）”

〓 如何避免再次发生 〓

How to avoid the situation in the future: Never lend money to friends and you won’t get a reputation as a walking, breathing ATM.

别借钱给朋友。因为没人会因此而赞美你，你只不过是一部移动的ATM机。

案例 2

A co-worker wants you to chip in $25 for a gift for a colleague you wouldn’t recognize at the watercooler.

有个同事找你凑份子钱合买礼物给另外一个同事。 而这个同事对你来说，完全不熟，甚至脸都对不上。

注：watercooler意思类似茶水间同事群体闲聊

〓 你该怎么说NO 〓

Oh, I’ve never really had a conversation with Sam. I think I’ll just wish him a happy birthday in person.”

“哦，我还没和Sam好好聊呢，我想我还是直接对他本人表达生日祝福比较合适”

〓 为什么要这样说 〓

Chances are, the person taking donations has no idea how close you are (or are not) with the intended recipient. By clarifying the nature of your relationship―and emphasizing your intention to get to know the person better―you come across as thoughtful rather than cheap.

情况是，筹钱的人对你和收礼的亲疏关系并不熟悉。阐明你和当事人的关系，强调你想多了解下这个人，会让人觉得你是处于周到，而不是因为吝啬。

〓 为何无需自责 〓

“A gift isn’t a gift if it’s an obligation,” say etiquette writers Kim Izzo and Ceri Marsh.

Kim Izzo and Ceri Marsh曾说”当礼物成为义务时，就失去了意义。”

〓 如何避免再次发生 〓

How to avoid the situation in the future: If workplace gift giving is getting out of hand, take the lead in restoring sanity by circulating a card before someone can break out the gift-donation plate. Make sure others know you don’t expect anything on your birthday.

如果同事间凑份子送礼不可避免。就从你自己开始用卡片代替这种习俗，确保每个人晓得，你生日不想要这样的礼物

Saying No for the Sake of Your Time

说”不”能节省时间

案例 3

You are offered a promotion that you don’t want. Even though it means more money, it demands more hours and more of what your boss calls responsibility and you call tedium.

你老板给了你一个能赚很多钱但却是你不想要的升职机会。它教你付出更多的时间，以及更多的责（单）任（调）

〓 你该怎么说NO 〓

“I’m flattered that you want me, but for personal reasons I’m not in a situation where I can take this on. Perhaps in a year from now things will be different. Can we talk again if my circumstances change?”

对你的赏识我受宠若惊。不过出于个人原因，我觉得现在我还不能胜任，也许过个一年半载情况会更合适。我能等到时机成熟再和你交流吗？

〓 为何这样说 〓

If you’re caught in this enviable dilemma, your boss will understand you have personal priorities that take precedence.

让你老板看到你有这种让人嫉妒的“困扰”。他便明白你更重视你的个人生活。

〓 为何无需自责 〓

Why you shouldn’t feel guilty: By saying no to more time at the office, you’re saying yes to other things you cherish, be they long walks alone at sunset or evening time with your children.

少一点办公时间，分多点时间给你珍惜的美好事物。比如漫步夕阳，比如天伦之乐

〓 如何避免再次发生 〓

“If a position opens up at your workplace, you could let it be known that you are not in the running,” Breitman suggests. Being forthright saves your manager the trouble of pursuing a candidate who isn’t interested.

如果有升职机会，你可以让人知道你并没有追求于此。Breitman 建议：“直爽地表态可以让你的经历省去游说（一个感兴趣的候选人）的麻烦

案例 4

Your boss asks you to supervise this season’s intern―last seen with her feet up on a desk, iPod on, Gameboy in hand.

你的老板让你去监督一个实习生，上一次看到他的时候他正翘着脚听着ipod边玩gameboy

〓 应该怎么说NO 〓

“Wow, that’s an interesting project. I’m really busy with the ABC assignment right now, so let me know if you want me to re-prioritize.”

这是个很有趣的任务。不过我忙着做xxx的事儿呢，如果需要重新优化的话可以通知我

〓 为什么这样说 〓

Asking your boss to prioritize tasks for you means you don’t have to actually say the no word,” Breitman says. If she tells you to just squeeze the new task in, then do it. But keep a list of all the extra work you’ve done―for your next review.

让你老板去优化人物意味着你无需直接开口说不，Breitman说，如果她硬是塞给你这个任务，那就去做，不过列一张表格，写下你所有的额外工作，在下次汇报工作的时候给她看

〓 为何无需自责 〓

Why you shouldn’t feel guilty: You really do have enough work to do as it is.

你真的有足够多的事情要做，就是这样

〓 如何避免再次发生 〓

How to avoid the situation in the future: If extra tasks keep getting dumped on your desk, ask your boss for a meeting. Explain that the added assignments are making it hard to do your primary job properly. Ask if she wants to review your job description (and renegotiate your salary while she’s at it).

如果你上司总是把额外的工作扔给你，建议主动要求开会。解释清楚那些附加的工作会影响你工作的主要职责。问问她是不是要重新审阅下你的工作内容（然后当面重谈工资）

Saying No for the Sake of Your Sanity

说不有益心理健康

案例 5

A friend asks to borrow your car (because hers is in the shop to repair the dent she got while driving, talking on her cell phone, and unwrapping her kid’s juice-box straw).

朋友问你借车（因为边打电话边开车，并且帮她孩子开果汁而刮花送去修理了）

〓 应该怎么说NO 〓

“I don’t lend anything worth more than $1,000.” Try to avoid the old “I don’t have insurance for a non-family member” excuse―most insurance policies cover the car, not specific drivers. (If your friend got into an accident, it could make your premium go up, though.) If you have time, offer her a ride instead.

我不会借给别人价值超过1000刀的东西，不要说诸如”我的保险不包括非家庭成员驾驶“之类的借口。大多数能车保都不针对司机身份（但是你的朋友如果开车出了事故，你的保费会上升），但是如果你有时间的话，还是开车送她一程吧。

〓 为什么这样说 〓

“It puts the blame on you,” explains author Patti Breitman. “Just don’t indicate you don’t trust the friend.”

表明是你的责任，作家Patti Breitman说，不要表现出你对朋友的不信任”

〓 为何无需自责 〓

“Your car is probably the first or second most valuable thing you own,” says Breitman. “You’re protecting a big financial asset.” Plus, if your friend were to get into an accident, your relationship might be totaled, too.

“你的车很可能是属于你第二值钱的东西。”Breitman 说“你在保护一笔很大的财产”，此外，如果你的朋友开着你的车出了事故，那你们的关系很可能也将遭遇“车祸”

〓 如何避免再次发生 〓

How to avoid the situation in the future: Let your friends know that while you’re typically a generous lender (“Of course you can borrow my snorkeling gear!”), your car is off-limits.

让你的朋友知道虽然在借东西上你并不小气（你愿意借出你的潜水装备），但是车子是非借品

学会说“不”并非出于吝啬

因 为

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